After the previous post on JE's catastrophic fashion choices (or non-choices for that matter) I felt like it's quite unfair to attack the boys when there are a whole lot of their counterparts wearing the same hideous things, sometimes even worse. There are gazillion female stars in Japan and it's quite a pain to google them all so I posted only the ones I am familiar with, and those whom I've heard. That way I can also give a quick review of their music. So here are the Top 15 worst dressed female singers/performers plaguing the Jpop world.
15 - AYAKA
BIG VOICE. BIG HAIR. Ayaka stands out as one of the best singers in Jpop. She's actually my personal fave among them all. Her high-pitched vocals, meaningful songs and powerful single (Crescent moon) make her a star to watch out for. But every time she performs on stage, she always wears the baggy, boho style with the same big hair. And THAT spells trouble. I mean, the girl is not only talented, she is also very pretty. The clothes don't do her justice.
14 - NAMI TAMAKI
This girl is famous in the gaming world for singing the catchy, dance-y game tunes. But she seems to be the one who's playing a game with us in this polka-dotted black and white number and red top with transparent plastic raincoat vest. It just doesn't make sense.
13 - ANGELA AKI
Hmm... I do get the angsty piano genius look she has going on but does she ALWAYS have to wear a numbered jersey to every freaking performance? Music station, Buduokan, it doesn't matter! She probably has a closet full of them! What, is she like a baseball fan or something? Love her music, but sometimes her voice tends to become a bit pitchy, and her songs are a bit repetitive. Even RAIN is trying the AKI look. FAIL.
12 - BOA (Her teeny bopper debut days)
Seriously. She's channeling Kanjani8's powers with this colorful eyesore. Sure, she's trying to dress her age but she just looked like a pink cotton candy with a fluffy mushroom hat on her head. Note to BOA, too much sweetness can make you gag.
11 - MIHIMARU GT'S HIROKO
We all love Mihimaru GT's lively tunes and that hot guy partner Hiroko has. And speaking of the color pink, has anyone noticed why some people just have to wear ALL PINK just to make a point??? Like the previous ranker BOA. The string y hair, moss green scarf wrapped around the arm (which serves no purpose, really), discombobulated accessories AND that hideous poofy PINK couch that's part of her outfit - whew, IS JUST TOO... FREAKING PINK.
10 - LEAH DIZON
When Leah first started out, I actually thought she was pretty cute. Her songs are catchy, she also wears a lot of pink in her videos, she even did that cheerleader stunt slash student by-the-lockers vid ala Britney. The hideous pink moulin-rouge bra outfit is the one she always wears in her Koi Shiyu perfomances (see my previous post on Leah). But just like Britney, she lacks good vocal chops (though her dancing is so-so). AND she gets trashier and trashier as time goes by.
Well, that's no surprise, since she's queen of gravure even before they exported her to Japan. On a side note, it's the first time I heard that the word "gravure" has a negative connotation. From what I know, it's a process in photography. But thanks to millions of under aged teen skimpy posers, gravure now spells porn.
LESS IS DEFINITELY NOT MORE.
Leah's the girl who's famous for what she wears - OR NOT WEAR. No wonder JE boys are lusting after her! Geez. I had to cover the screen so that my mom wouldn't suspect me of oogling dirty porn! Come on, Leah! Cover that booty!!!
HERE COMES BRIDEZILLA. And to think she even has her own wedding dress line. Oh, hell no. Groom will run bolting through the door.
9 - SHOKO NAKAGAWA
Okay, I thought I would be a bit forgiving towards Shoko, since it's her job as a cosplay master/ queen whatever-her-job-is-called that justifies her outfits. But then again, even with the cosplay excuse, what she wears are all hideous anyway so who cares.
Serioiusly. Who in his/her right mind would want to cosplay an office lady? And what's with the pointing?? Or maybe this is her everyday look, we're not really sure.
Here she is wearing one of Subaru's (Kanjani8) leftover shiny plastic. Looks like those kiddie gum wrappers were sewn into this dapper number.
And yes, she also does gravure. Why the hell is EVERY female artist in Japan doing gravure anyway?? Just try googling any random Jpop girl and a horde of pervy pics will cause your eye to bleed. It just seems so damn normal!! And unfair! Why was there a nationwide commotion when Yamapi's flat butt naked pics came out and there's practically no reaction to young girls posing like this??
BATTLE OF THE ROCK STARS
AYA KAMIKI. Japan's very own Avril Lavigne. She's not part of the worst-dressed, but I just love her and her music (try listening to Youthful Diary). She's really cool. And this outfit kind of reminds me of Kat-tun's failed attempt in looking like rock and roll. Pseesh. Wannabees. This is how it's really done!
8 - MIKA NAKASHIMA
8 - MIKA NAKASHIMA
Let the images speak for themselves!
NANA the movie craze was pretty good, but Mika just looked like a poster girl for anorexia/ bulimia/ psycho addict girl who will put a badluck hex on you if you don't leave her alone.
7 - KIMURA KAELA
Aside from oddly looking like Mika Anorexia, Kaela's style has always been a bit eccentric. She even wore an alien space suit (PINK) in her appearance in Music Station. Domoto Tsuyoshi mentioned in DKyoudai that he wants to have her as a guest because he likes her style. Well, birds of the same feather... are THE SAME BIRDS.
Yes, this is still Kaela. In a BEE outit. Maybe she should join Yasu at the end of K8's Wahaha vid. Buzzoff Kaela, buzz off.
GACKT. Just because he's weird like that. And no one knows for sure whether he's male or female.
SHIINA RINGO. One of the best forerunners of Jrock. Tokyo Jihen is a brilliant band. And Shiina has that signature scratchy voice with the signature mole. But her style can sometimes be creepy.
SPEAKING OF CREEPY...
WELCOME HELLO PROJECT DISASTERS
6 - MORNING MUSUME
Johnny's sister school apparently borrows their dizzy psycho stylist from time to time. Aside from looking like Kanjani8 on crack, these photos look like the ones you would normally see displayed in some dark, seedy love motels in Tokyo. Or they look like those ditzy pre-adolescent girlies working in Akihabara waiting on in MAID CAFE's to the delight of sick, pervy otakus and dirty old men.
HELLO PROJECT BABIES
5 - AKB48
THE HELL. Poster Girls for ANTI- CHILD LABOR. I don't even have a clue as to how their music goes. I suspect they sing about walking their dogs or brushing their teeth every morning. And they're so freaking numerous they probably take the whole screen time in one show just introducing themselves!!
4 - GAM
The sub-unit made duo of Aya Matsuura and Miki forgot-her-name-and-I-don't-care. They're quite infamous for making a lesbo music video that's not only bordering on obscenity, it's also a cheap and desperate gasp for attention. They always wear those skimpy cheap ass outfits that make them look... cheap.. And their name GAM?? How creative. psshh..
And speaking of creative group names... *C-ute?? And in PINK?? AGAIN. Somebody please call the Social Services. Or the police. Have that pervy H!P boss arrested.
Are they first graders or something??
3 - MAKI GOTO
Somebody please explain to me why this girl is even remotely famous? As you can see in her concert photos, all she does is... flail. And scream YEAHHHH! Looks like an aerobics instructor on pot. Whatever.. Next!
2- AYUMI HAMASAKI
Apparently her face is not the only one that's made of plastic.
Props to her for still being the top diva in the biz but she really has to dress her age. Her music's pretty much been the same re-hashed and recycled Madonna 80's dance/ bubblegum pop with a little electronica thrown in between. She overdoes the cutesy thing. That's really nice. 20 years ago!!
I am... a green leafy vegetable.
Yes, that freaky girl in dog chains and freaky leash is Ayu. WTF.
AND THE QUEEN OF TACKY IS...
1 - KODA KUMI
Finally she toppled Ayumi Hamasaki over! She's always had that sexy image - but sexy doesn't have to mean slutty! Talk about being non too subtle! And I could never really finish any song of hers without clicking the fast forward button!
VEGAS SHOW GIRL. As I was looking at her pics it suddenly dawned on me... Koda looks like..
TANNING BED GONE WRONG. Kumi looks like a cross between a Ganguro girl walking in Shibuya streets and Christina Aguilera in her dirrrrty days.
BAD HAIR DECADES
5- SHORT BOWL CUT
BOA'S FAKE FEATHER-DUSTER BOB.
4 - POODLE HAIR
AYAKA'S HAIR LOOKS LIKE IT HAS A LIFE OF ITS OWN.
NAMIE AMURO'S USUALLY AN ACE IN STYLE. SHE SHOULD JUST STICK TO HER SIGNATURE LONG, REDDISH NEAT CURLS.
SHIBASAKI KOU'S SHORTENED POODLE HAIR MADE HER LOOK MATRONLY.
3 - WEIRD HIGHLIGHTS/COLORS GALORE.
ANNA TSUCHIYA'S HAIR STYLES ARE JUST PLAIN CONFUSING.
KAELA KIMURA. 'NUFF SAID.
AI OTSUKA JUST DOES NOT LOOK GOOD BLONDE.
ERIKA SAWAJIRI. I'm a BITCH. Deal with it. Now in case you're living under a rock, this pic is taken from Erika's infamous hissy fit at a presscon for her new movie (which she stars as a dying girl, AGAIN). It really did look like she was having a bad day, with a bad hairdo to boot! From then on, she was named "Erika-sama." In short, Erika the diva-princess-biotch. Well, who wouldn't be pissed off in this Josie-and-the-Pussycats outfit?
2 - BEEHIVE HAIR
LEAH DIZON. WITH SOME CREEPY FANBOY.
AYAKA AND MISIA.
MIKA NAKASHIMA AND SHOKO NAKAGAWA. ARE THERE CREATURES LIVING INSIDE THAT PILE OF HAIR ON TOP OF YOUR HEAD?
PLEASE. LEAVE THE BEEHIVE HAIR TO AMY WINEHOUSE.
1- ANGELA AKI.